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Today in Heritage History, 1962, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops says America’s new dance craze the “twist” is “impure” and forbids its performance at Catholic schools and all Catholic school functions*. The Bishops cited a passage in the Bible as the basis for their joint decision. They cited Matthew 19:14 where Jesus said, “Let the little children come unto me, (with the Catholic version add-on) LEST they be twisting or gyrating their hips. THEN, I will castigate them, and throw them into the eternal sea of suffering and fire for all of eternity to burn-up like over-roasted marshmallows at a Sea of Galilee KOA Jewish kids camp-out. For remember, NON-twisters shall inherit the earth. Oh…and don’t forget to love your neighbor as yourself and don’t masturbate. Amen”.

* Unless performed with the individual supervision of a parish priest in the privacy of his parish Rectory offices, with no one else in the house and all the drapes drawn, naked.