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Today in Heritage History, 1573, Sir Francis Drake claims to be the first European to see the Pacific Ocean while in Panama. He wasn’t and he didn’t. Drake fabricated the story to cover for his money-laundering activities and the 60 metric tons of cocaine he picked-up for his other Explorer bff’s while there. Drake’s fleet took ten days to get to Panama from England, but (oddly) only three to get back. After returning to England with his cocaine and three days without sleep, not only did Drake claim to have seen a “new” ocean, but, he also claimed to have seen Jesus and Queen Elizabeth I dancing naked on the deck of his ship, schools of mermaids off the coast of Venezuela, and Elvis drinking in “some dive bar” in Panama City.

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