Today in Heritage History, March 16, 1830, The New York Stock Exchange recorded its lowest trading day ever, with only 31 stocks traded for the day. Most Brokers were not at the Exchange that day as a result of the New York City School district wide, “Bring-a-Scum-Sucking-Assbag-to-School ” day. Investors without children decided instead to spend the day making a presentation on “How to Invest in Complex (losing) Stock Derivatives” to the nation’s top 1000 Girl Scout Cookie Sales Earners convention, being held at Madison Square Garden.