Today in Heritage History, July 25, 1983, the first non-human primate, a baboon, is conceived in a lab dish in San Antonio. Progress was delayed on the project for several years by both the lack of baboon pornography and Scientists inability to teach (a happy to participate) Rocco the lab monkey to masturbate in a cup. Stepping-up for the challenge was the local Sheriff of San Antonio, Billy Bob Slowinski. Sheriff Slowinski was able to “stand-in” for Rocco and agreed to work for only a twenty-four pack of Pearl beer, and the labs agreement that he could keep all 12 of the Police Boy magazines.

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